Who Does She Think She Is?

Who does she think she is? Giving up her family life to chase after her dreams. Giving up doing laundry and cooking food for a few hours to go to work. Giving up her family's needs for her own needs. Being SO SELFISH. Who does she think she is?! A hypocrite. Choosing to get married and promising to take care of the family. But now, because her needs and desires changed, she is doomed. Her husband leaves her, her family members look down upon her, she feels horribly guilty herself. An actress, an aspiring artist, a woman in all the sense of the word. Why can't she just follow her dreams, help around the house, and be a loving parent and wife at the same time? Why is this so condemned in society? This view of "selflessless" and giving everything to your family and kids even if it means losing yourself is, of course, perfectly fine. NOT. The imbalance associated with this way of thinking takes precedence over anything else. It is not healthy for any human being, whether a person be male or female, to dedicate their whole life to someone else and leave no time for themselves. We all have a potential to explore our interests, grow, and thrive as individuals. Giving yourself up for another person means losing that ability to explore, grow, and thrive because you are just helping others explore, grow, and thrive. Levels of satisfaction decrease, and people compensate in other ways. I know a hardworking, driven woman who does EVERYTHING for her children. And now, it seems as though she lost her sense of self. In order to temporarily feel "happy," she shops until she fills her void. But this has just led to an unhealthy shopping addiction. Her husband works a full-time job, her kids go to school, and she does all of the house work and rarely receives help from anyone. So where does the "me" time come in? Shopping is where she is happy. And that is just sad. So how can we prevent this from happening? How can we prevent the women in the video from feeling guilty and selfish? How can we teach family members and partners to be more understanding in general? The one woman in the video changed her studio hours to nighttime so she could devote herself to her children during the day when they needed her. She only gets three hours of sleep. And her husband STILL left her. The men need to step up and realize that they, too, can pitch in and give a helping hand. They should share the joy and struggles of raising the kids, cleaning the house, preparing food, etc. It should be a "joint" effort. It shouldn't always be a competition of who does what, who reciprocates what, and who puts more effort in. Everyone needs to adopt a feminist viewpoint and everyone needs to be more willing to understand. Everyone deserves to thrive and be their own person. Children deserve to have two parents that raise them, not one. They deserve to see the balance so they, too, can grow up and maintain this balance with their future partners. Bell Hooks touched on this a lot. The idea of educating children early so they are alert and aware to the problems in a society which appears to be more anti-feminist than feminist. Just as little girls play with dollhouses and cook the meals, little boys can do the same. I intern at a preschool with children who have special needs, and here, we try and deemphasize gender roles and stereotypes and replace them with more neutral and balanced ways of thinking. Even just doing this during playtime can influence children's viewpoints. You'd be suprised.