Is she really strange? I think not. Eating disorders are so pervasive nowadays. It is not ABNORMAL to have one (given the cut-throat beauty guidelines and restrictions that society provides us with). What really caught my attention about Stacey is after everything she has experienced and internalized, she can still write about her experiences and channel her negative energy into positive energy through her books. When she said it was frightening to tell her story, I definitely couldn't understand exactly what she was feeling, but I could imagine how hard it would be for me if I were in her shoes. It's amazing how one boyfriend or male figure can affect someone's cognitive processes and perceived body image that much. It only takes one person. People completely underestimate the consequences of their words, let alone their actions. Maybe men say cruel things to feel a sense of empowerment, but do you think their thought processes are conscious or more unconscious? Do you think they know that their words will cause women to change and develop unhealthy eating patterns? Do they know that they are instilling perfectionism in women? What is the definition of perfect anyway? According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, three definitions of perfect include... a : being entirely without fault or defect : flawless <a perfect diamond> b : satisfying all requirements : accurate c : corresponding to an ideal standard or abstract concept <a perfect gentleman>. Nowadays, so many women are sensitive to body image because of being socialized to think that way or because they are belittled by their partners. You have to have the perfect BMI, the perfect skin-bone-muscle ratio, the perfect skinny body. In relation to the definition, you HAVE to meet your partner's requirements for body image or society's, not yours. You can't create your own definition of flawlessness or your own requirements because society doesn't allow you to. What if flawlessness to you meant looking healthy and feeling healthy regardless of weight? What if you just wanted to be in between what we call skinny and fat, which are two black and white terms? Sometimes I wish the media didn't have such of an impact on defining what's "right" and "wrong" or respectively, "skinny" and "fat." We constantly have people judging us for our looks, but what ever happened to talking about the meaning behind our looks, our personalities, our belief systems? People are always going to judge. But judge after you know the full story. I'm sure people were judging Stacey because of all her tattoos and piercings and her general unique look. But we knew what she was planning on talking about and therefore, we were more open-minded and more willing to listen. But what if we saw her on the street, how do you think you would judge her then? Maybe differently? Probably. It's not fair. Get to know a person before you assume that they are "strange" or "weird." Everyone has their weaknesses and flaws, and everyone has different experiences including traumatic and life-changing ones. Stacey empowered me to understand her story, to understand the meaning behind it, and respect her for it. She is not perfect, but neither is anyone else. We all have different coping mechanisms and ways of dealing with the problems that come our way. I am glad that she is on a healthy road to recovery because she has a lot going for her at this moment in her life. For whoever is reading this, I hope that the next time you try to be "perfect," you realize that there is no real definition of perfect, only you can create your own. And when you do create your own standards/goals, I hope they are realistic, healthy, positive, and flexible.
I found this article interesting...I suggest you read it too. Good food for thought.
Perfectionism and Eating Disorders (The Many Faces of Perfectionism):
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